PROVIDENCE, R.I.–Taking a break from relentlessly posting about overturning Roe v. Wade, self-described “pro-life warrior” Tom Redding let it slip that he’s “totally cool” with Arkansas’ decision to execute 8 death row inmates in the near future. “Listen, Christ didn’t love everyone equally so that his message could be applied consistently by his followers; he […]
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DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz nervously gives jazz hands while practicing her routine before the Democratic National Convention. PHILADELPHIA, P.A.–Excited by the prospect of reviving a legendary show business tradition from the early 1900s, organizers placed a giant vaudeville cane in the wings of the Democratic National Convention stage Monday. The prop is rumored to […]
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Well, it’s that time of year again: you know, the one that comes every year, but still only once a year. Uh, wait. What? LOL RI is now two-years-old! Yeah, Birthdays! Now that we’re officially toddler-level huge, we’d like to make one overtly predictable and cheesy Birthday request: keep on reading! LOL RI could not be more […]
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This is the first in LOL RI’s series on aging in the Ocean State. Check back for more in-depth pieces: PROVIDENCE, RI–LOL RI is confirming reports that a local middle-aged woman is attempting to gain cultural relevance by using emojis and millenial slang on social media. Enter Ronda McBride of Providence, the adorable conspiracy caught making waves, in her pursuit of […]
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WASHINGTON D.C.–The United States Department of Treasury has admitted it held a cage match to determine whether abolitionist Harriet Tubman would replace former U.S. President Andrew Jackson on the 20 dollar bill. U.S. Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew confirmed to LOL RI that the match took place at 12 pm on Monday in the basement of the […]
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Ever wear an outfit that seems to blend perfectly with your surroundings? You know, like a printed top that’s nearly identical to wallpaper? Or maybe you’ve thrown on some shoes and noticed they’re the same color as the carpet you’re standing on. Sometimes your outfit matches your surroundings so well, you can hardly spot yourself in […]
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