Area ‘Pro-Lifer’ Totally Cool with 8 Upcoming Executions in Arkansas

PROVIDENCE, R.I.–Taking a break from relentlessly posting about overturning Roe v. Wade, self-described “pro-life warrior” Tom Redding let it slip that he’s “totally cool” with Arkansas’ decision to execute 8 death row inmates in the near future. “Listen, Christ didn’t love everyone equally so that his message could be applied consistently by his followers; he […]

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Giant Vaudeville Cane Ominously Appears in Wings of DNC as Wasserman-Schultz Prepares Speech

DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz nervously gives jazz hands while practicing her routine before the Democratic National Convention. PHILADELPHIA, P.A.–Excited by the prospect of reviving a legendary show business tradition from the early 1900s, organizers placed a giant vaudeville cane in the wings of the Democratic National Convention stage Monday. The prop is rumored to […]

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Middle-aged Person’s Use of Hashtags and Emojis Just Too Adorable!

This is the first in LOL RI’s series on aging in the Ocean State. Check back for more in-depth pieces: PROVIDENCE, RI–LOL RI is confirming reports that a local middle-aged woman is attempting to gain cultural relevance by using emojis and millenial slang on social media. Enter Ronda McBride of Providence, the adorable conspiracy  caught making waves, in her pursuit of […]

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