Joe’s Closing: WaterFire Sent Entire Staff to Mental Hospitals

PROVIDENCE, R.I.–The entire staff of Joe’s American Bar & Grill has been committed to a series of mental hospitals, after working through one-too-many nearby Waterfire events. The restaurant’s location in the Providence Place Mall made Joe’s a magnet for many WaterFire attendees. The restaurant became so busy during the seasonal festivities, countless workers were sent to mental health facilities across the region. […]

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Out of Work: Area Dick Temporarily Becomes Nice Guy

PROVIDENCE, R.I.— After a recent layoff, area dick and pseudo intellectual Paul McDowell exchanged his usually cocky persona for a more humble one, leaving friends blown away by his temporary bout with inclusivity. With bad news in hand, the 27-year-old public relations writer began immediately acting as someone capable of empathy and devoid of judgement, so as to prepare for […]

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Travel+Leisure Magazine to Providence: We Were Drunk

PROVIDENCE, R.I.–Travel+Leisure Magazine has retracted its naming of Providence, Rhode Island as America’s top favorite city. In a statement to LOL RI, the publication credited a looming deadline and unnatural levels of alcohol consumption at an office party for Providence’s appearance at the number one spot. “On behalf of our entire writing and editorial staff, we […]

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RI Hobby Lobby to Sell ‘Crafty Birth Control Kit’

WARWICK, R.I. — Once again, Rhode Island finds itself in the stencils of national controversy. After Monday’s Supreme Court ruling determined Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. religiously exempt from including contraceptives in its health coverage, the company’s Warwick location announced it will offer workers a “Crafty Birth Control Kit.” The Warwick location’s manager, Richard Celeste, spoke with LOL RI about what he […]

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